If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a...

Mar 05

quote If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

—

Tina Fey (via iamnotdiddy)

Oh, Tina.

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I'm Jacklyn. I'm happy. I’m sad. I'm irritable. I'm hilarious. I'm creative. I'm opinionated. I'm lazy. I'm active. I'm smart. I'm stupid. I'm emotional. I'm objective. I'm rational. I'm rash. I'm logical. I'm strong. I'm passionate. I'm human. I wear many hats and I have many faces.

I love technology, movies, the internet, water, books, chocolate, fruit, logic, travel, passion, humor, friends, food, pretty things, secrets, music, men, women, exercise, health, and photography. I enjoy quotes that describe me or my situation at any given time.

Interact with Me:

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Some quotes that I love and you might enjoy:

Female Lawyer: I think we got off on the wrong foot.
Erin Brockovich: That's all you got lady, two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes. - "Erin Brockovich"

Sarchasm (n.) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. - Some bloke

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart...Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. - William Parrish ("Meet Joe Black")

I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

I count religion but a childish toy, and hold there is no sin but ignorance. - Christopher Marlowe

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost

The greatest problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred. - George Bernard Shaw

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. - Rabbi Julius Gordon

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. - Christopher Marlowe

It's not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one most adaptable to change. - Charles Darwin

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. - Dave Barry

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. - Friedrich Nietzsche

'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned. - Jeph Jacques

Crime does not pay...as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. - John Burroughs

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king. - J.R.R. Tolkien

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe

Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you. - Baby ("Dirty Dancing")

And lastly, the book where my Tumblr name comes from. After all, I do love a little bit of blasphemy.:

"God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (i.e. everyone), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time." - Good Omens

[I do not own rights to anything portrayed on this Tumblr page unless otherwise stated. I may occasionally post my own words, pictures, etc. For instance, the words in my description BEFORE the ~~ are my own. Don't steal them or I'll be really ang--, yeah, I don't care.]

Oh, and I'm following all of these fine folks below:

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